How to Set Intentions

note (2025): I wrote this over 10 years ago, so it needs a bit of an update but for the most part, it stands. If you want to be notified when it's updated, please join the TLP mailing list at the bottom 😊

There is absolutely a place and time for setting goals, but if/when you find setting goals a pain in the butt, digging a little deeper to find the intention behind the goal can help by bringing more meaning to it.

Think of the Universe as an amazing, powerful Delivery-Only Restaurant. It’s a restaurant that produces delicious, soul-nourishing food, and it can deliver whatever you order.

Below are some guidelines to keep in mind.

1. Be very specific with your order.

Why: The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it is to deliver your order.

When you order food in a restaurant, you tell the server (or computer system!) the dishes you want, and if you have any specific instructions regarding how you want them prepared, you also mention it.

Imagine what a headache the staff and the kitchen would have if you told them all the things you didn't want instead. Same thing when it comes to setting intentions.

Describe what that looks like to you – one person’s medium is another person’s medium rare – especially when it is something intangible.

• What would your life look like if you had this in your life?
• How would you feel when you have this in your life?

Talk about what it IS, rather than what it is not. This is less about positive affirmations or the Law of Attraction/Assumption than it is about FOCUS.

Take note: These questions are important because they help you clarify your intentions. Sometimes what we think we want, is not really what we want. Be honest with yourself. And be careful what you wish for ;)

On the flip side though, if you feel really stuck figuring out exactly what you want, consider leaving it to the Universe. This means...

2. Be open to surprises

Why: What we ask for, doesn't always come in the form we expect it to, especially when we haven't been specific.

It's a little like going to a restaurant you like, and saying, “I want to eat healthily but I don't know what's good and healthy here, I'll leave it to you to pick something”, and deciding to accept whatever the chef serves.

You may or may not like it, but you'll have a better idea of which healthy dish you enjoy the next time.

So, if you have certain expectations of what your wish looks like, release those expectations. You could be pleasantly surprised.

There are also times when you actually want to to leave your request a bit more open-ended (Yes, a complete contradiction of point #1). When you really have no idea what you truly want, are open to new things, and are willing to take small risks, try setting your intentions in terms of "opportunities".

For example, if you’re looking for a new job, “Please send me opportunities for a new job, in my highest good and the highest good of all.”

I use "opportunities" because it gives options (you’ve never met anyone so afraid of not having options!). Some people might just want to outright ask for a new job. It’s totally up to you, your preferences and the situation you're in.

“In the highest good of all” – for me, it feels a bit like a safety net, and also lets me feel I have permission, and that I’m not being selfish.

Over time, you will get a more specific idea of what you truly want, and be able to set clear and specific intentions then.

Take note: There’s no guarantee of a pleasant experience when you set your intentions. Life lessons and challenges can surface as part of fulfilling your intentions. It is only *after* the experience, and you have reflected on it, that you'll be in a better place.

3. Identify the energy behind the intention

Why: Having clarity about the energy you want more of means you can start creating/'being' that energy immediately.

Whatever the intention you are setting, there is always a core quality underlying it. Dig deeper to find out what the essence of the quality is.

You’d want to start bringing elements of that into your life through action, in whatever way you are comfortable with at the moment. It doesn’t necessarily have to be big or intimidating.

Personally, I like starting small and simple.

• Small, so that I don’t get scared.
• Simple, so that I will actually get it done. (I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to bring the energy in through action!)

For a long time, I wanted to live in Japan but couldn’t figure out how. I applied to join a programme to teach English in local schools, but was disappointed both times. Finally, I decided I wanted live there at least for 6 months no matter what.

I didn't know exactly how I was going to make it happen, but I started filling up my life with more and more Japanese-related activities, e.g. watching more Japanese TV. Super easy starting point, right? 😆

I also changed all my passwords to things like: ‘iLOVEjapan’, ‘japanhereicome’, ‘heretodayjapantomorrow’.

The core energy behind all that: loving Japan, going to Japan, being in Japan. Even now as I write this, I remember that feeling.

Take note: Avoid having the word ‘want’ when setting intentions. Including it shifts the focus to the energy of ‘wanting’, which basically leaves you in a place of desire and that's about it.

4. Take care of things one at a time, a day at a time

Why: When you over-order, you confuse the kitchen, confuse yourself, and might even make yourself sick.

For example, you first order fried chicken. Minutes later, you call again, “You know what, I’ll have some spring rolls as well.” Then you think, “I’m not sure I want the chicken, but I sure feel like some hot and sour soup.” The kitchen takes your order but you can’t cancel your chicken, so it will be delivered anyway.

The kitchen gets busy with your orders as you place them, and every time you add something on, they are halfway through preparing your previous order, so they complete it no matter what, and in the end, you get a whole bunch of food delivered.

If that's what you want, and you can handle it, go for it!

If not, you end up with a lot of food. If you ate it all at once, you’d probably get sick. If you didn’t eat it in time, it’ll start going bad. What can you do? You decide what you really want to eat, freeze the rest of it and keep it for another day.

When you make decisions in a variety of directions, the Universe will show up to support those decisions. With the right (for you) proportion of variety, juggling different things can be lots of fun, some of us even thrive on it, but there are also times when it can become too much.

Once you get to the point where you feel like you’re spinning too many plates, it’s time to put some things on hold, de-prioritize or strike off some options. You are the only person who knows the “ideal” proportion of what you need in your life to feel balanced.

Take note: Whether you focus on one thing, or a few things at a time, it’s up to you. There is no such thing as setting the wrong intention. The real question is, what do you want most at this point in time?

5. Order only for yourself.

Why: You can only control your own life. You can’t control what other people do, say or think. Don’t presume you know what they want either.

The reasoning behind this is simple. You’d probably not like it if someone else decided what you should or should not eat.

Honour your right to choose, and respect others’ free will.

This means avoiding intentions like, “I want my boss to stop giving me last minute assignments” or “I want my boyfriend to treat me with more respect”.

The only way to actively deal with things like this is to actually talk to them about it because intentions cannot function at this level.

What you can do: flip the intentions.

For example, ask for the strength to have a talk with your boss/boyfriend about these issues. Or ask for the opportunities to have a discussion. Intentions are *always* about you.

Take note: Even when you feel that your intention for someone else is “for their own good”, you have no right. They have to want it themselves. How would you like it if someone else made an intention for you that you didn’t really want? It’s fine to share your opinions, but you don’t get to make intentions for others. So my favourite thing is to send them good vibes, which to tell the truth, they can get themselves, but it just feels good :)

6. Release your order

Why: If you don’t let go, you haven’t placed your order!

When you place your order at a restaurant, you let the kitchen take care of it, right? You don’t follow the staff into the kitchen and watch them prepare your meal. Everything gets done for you while you enjoy yourself and chat with your companions. And later, voila~ your meal appears :)

You’ve probably heard about people doing at least one or more of these following things:

• write a list of very specific requirements for their other half, then ending up with someone who matched most of the items on the list
• not thinking about being in a relationship, and then meeting a special someone
• create a vision board, and one day they are living that board
• write something in their diary as a kid, and then when they grow up, it really happens

These examples are contradictory – some people had a general vision, others were very specific, some didn’t even consider themselves to be in the game. So how did that all happen?

The common thread is, they had an intention, and at some point, they set it free. Their intentions were released, the energy put out there, and they got on with their life while it was all falling into place.

In a way, they kind of “forgot” their intention – it became more a subconscious thing, than an active thing they STRIVED for. This is why #1 and #2 can be true at the same time.

Take note: Revisiting intentions over and over doesn’t really help (see #4).

To sum up:

1. Decide on an intention. Specific or not, depends on you and your situation.
2. Be open to how it can show up in your life.
3. Identify the core energy behind the intention and choose actions to match that energy.
4. Ask for what suits you.
5. Make sure you are the focus of the intention.
6. Set the intention and release it into the Universe~

After that, observe, pay attention, and take action!

What intentions are you setting today? 😊