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How to Ask For Signs

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It's a sign by sharonismsbhaven
It’s a Sign by sharonismsbhaven

Since we’ve covered what’s not a sign, how signs show up, and wake up missives, we can now finally define what signs are, and how to ask for them.

Here’s my current definition:

“Signs are random happenings that carry obvious, deeper meanings which make sense only to me, in the context of my life experiences, or in relation to my questions / challenges / intentions at that particular point in time.”

What a mouthful, right? But this definition makes it easier for me to quickly decide if something was a sign. What would *your* definition be? Tweak this, or experiment and see what works for you.

Ask for A Sign

I used say, “I need a sign!”, then feel really disappointed (and silly) cos nothing would happen. Strangely, now that I’ve figured it out, I say it a lot less.

Two reasons – first, I decided to trust myself more, instead of waiting for some sign. Secondly, if I truly am in a dilemma, I get proactive and ask for the signs.

The important bit lies in HOW you ask for the signs.

By the way, before we get into it…

The point of learning how to recognise, and ask for signs, is not about focusing on signs, or waiting for them, or looking out for them anywhere and everywhere. This is simply another tool for us to use in our lives.


And even when you do get a sign, you have to do something about it! I don’t mean to be a wet blanket, but a sign is not a magic bullet 😉 Anyway, have fun experimenting with this!

1. What is the sign you want to see/hear/experience?

This is your event marker.

The more familiar you are with the specific symbols that show up in your life, the easier it is to decide. For me, it’s been the fox, the crow/raven and the moth. Even if you don’t have any in mind, just randomly decide on something you don’t usually come across in your daily life, and assign it.

2. When do you want to see it by?

This is your deadline.

The shorter the better. I usually give it 24 hours or till the end of the day, whichever feels right. Having a deadline gives you a cut-off point to stop looking out for the sign. And if you get the sign within that time, you get to feel completely awed by the Universe.

3. Use a statement like this:

If (action) is in the highest good of all, please let me see, hear, or somehow experience (event marker(s)) before (deadline).

Play with different permutations of your request. Go with what feels right.

4. Finally, release your request to the Universe / God / Source.

Go do something else, run errands, whatever, the main thing is to get on with your life. Not releasing your request is like deciding what you want to eat, but keeping it a secret from the waiter, and then wondering what happened to your order.

5. Release your expectations

The biggest thing that stops people from recognising signs, is when they hold certain expectations around it.

If you remember the scene in The Matrix where a cat walks by. It kind of goes “bzzzzt”, and then a similar-looking one walks by again. Trinity says it’s “a glitch in the Matrix”.

The glitch in the Matrix, is exactly what you’re looking for. The little something that cuts through the noise, breaks into your consciousness, and grabs your attention.

It’s the thing that makes you go, “Hm, that was a little odd. What *was* that?”

Signs are subtle. They whisper. They brush pass you in the crowd. They tap you on the shoulder and run off. It’s UP TO YOU to be paying attention.

The movies have led us to expect that signs, our purpose, our calling, whatever, make their appearance in big, dramatic ways. But it’s the movies, and it’s called dramatization. Show business is about being larger than life. Entertain, or the audience snoozes.

In our lives, however, there is no big booming external voice, no swelling score, no giant red arrows, no spotlights pointing to the situation going, “THIS IS A SIGN!”

That comes from paying attention. To all your internal and external worlds.

Granted, there are sometimes big, dramatic signs, but those tend to be be Wake-Up Missives, and personally, I’d prefer not to let things get to that point 😉

 
So try asking for a sign and let me know how it goes. Do you have your own method for asking for signs?

P.S. A couple more posts in the Sign Series: It’s a Sign! (Not), Signs & Decisions, and Wake-up Missives.

Signs & Wake Up Missives

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Align to your innermost desires and start now
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Did you ever have times when you hadn’t the vaguest idea what options you had? Even when those options were staring at you right in the face. Or you got into a state where you weren’t even thinking of getting out of it. You lacked trust in yourself, doubted your intuition, and may have even shut it down.

I definitely did, and it became difficult to spot signs, even when they were showing up. It was also tough because I wasn’t the asking type (meaning making requests to the Universe, praying etc).
 

Wake Up! Missives

Luckily for us, the Universe doesn’t give up on us, and sends “Wake Up!” Missives when we really need them. These Missives are like an emergency alert system – something in your life goes, “HEY, pay attention!”

Wake-up Missives can be a bit of a shock to say the least. What I’d experienced was closer to, “Wake Up Your F❤❤❤ing Idea!” as we say in Singlish (one of my favourite expressions!). These Missives usually came when I was:

  • being on auto-pilot and not being the conscious driver of my life
  • staying in my comfort zone even though I was unhappy
  • making unhappy compromises or settlements
  • being in denial about what I really wanted

 

A little story…

A loooong time ago, I worked in an Internet company, and it was hard work, but I’d reached a point where I loved most of my colleagues, I knew what I needed to do, and the workload had finally become manageable.

Except, my heart simply wasn’t in it.

Every day, I day-dreamt about going back to film & TV, OR going to Japan. Thing is, both options didn’t make any logical sense. The first offered less pay and longer hours. The second, I didn’t even know what I would do in Japan!

Still, I convinced myself I’d stay in it… build a nestegg and then pursue one or both of those things. It’s what smart people do, right?

Or so I thought, until I got a Wake-Up! Missive. By the way, these Missives are like Howlers in Harry Potter – ignore them for too long, and they go berserk on you.

One of the benefits of being an avid journaller, you get to look back. One day:

I saw a cab coming out the wrong way from Kent Road. ARGHS! This must be a sign! But, sign of what? That my current life is going in the wrong direction? That my thoughts are going in the wrong direction? What?!!? I so do not get it… tho’ it’ll probably be blindingly clear in hindsight.

Three days later:

I saw another car going in the wrong direction on a one-way street last night!!!! Immediately after I left work. Jeez. It almost caused an accident! This seriously must be some sort of sign… I have to do my cards tonight! 🙁

 

Flash forward…

Six months later, I quit my job, with nothing proper lined up (not saying this is for everyone, it’s important to do things *your* way), went on a roller-coaster of film/TV jobs.

In the span of 20 months, I moved from Singapore to Hong Kong (and back), travelled to Cannes on business (one of my dreams!), worked on several film projects, where I discovered both Absolute Heaven and Absolute Hell.

It was a very unsettling time, the highs and lows were extreme. Very stressful for me – I’m always telling the Universe: drama-free life, please.

This crazy period ended with me falling really ill, getting stuck in bed for a week (very bad by my usual standard of health), and nursing a broken heart to boot. NOT what I had expected when I chose to follow my Wake Up Missive.

At that point, the only thing I was sure of – even though I was doing something I supposedly loved, what I was doing didn’t really align to the life I wanted.

Somewhere along the way, I had surrendered myself and what I wanted, to pursue this dream. Hence, sick and broken-hearted. Time to find ANOTHER way.

After I recovered, I found a job that I stayed in for more than 3 years (LONG for me). Sure, there were difficult times in between when I occasionally considered homicide 😉 but this job gave me the opportunity to travel to some major film festivals & markets (another dream), and I also met several beautiful souls I’m lucky to call my friends now. It also laid the foundation to make my Japan dream come true. (Yay!~)

Clearly, Wake Up Missives don’t guarantee a smooth ride, but you’re definitely going to get a lot out of them. It was an intense period of lessons and insights, and am so grateful for having gone through it. Not funny at that time though!

 

The lesson…

My Missives showed up when I was in a fear-based state for too long but they were ultimately only a catalyst for changes. I still had to do the work, but recognising the wake-up call made me start thinking about what I wanted and valued.

And that’s all you need.

Wherever you are right now, is the perfect starting point. The further away you live from your innermost desires, the less the Universe is able to conspire with you to create what you want.

If you feel completely out of touch with your intuition, it can feel difficult to start your explorations.

Try this: Take baby steps, and start re-connecting with the Universe. Start a dialogue with your Guides (speak it out loud, write, pay more attention etc), and ask for assistance. Keep your senses on alert for anything that comes up. Wake Up! Missives won’t be too difficult to notice because they are by nature surprising/shocking 😉

Did you ever get out-of-the-blue and weird incidents that you realise now were signs/wake up missives? What impact did they have on you? What was happening in your life at that time? I’d love to hear about it!

P.S. There are a few other posts in the Sign Series: It’s a Sign! (Not), Signs & Decisions, and How to Ask For Signs.

Signs & Decisions

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Choices Galore
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When you know what you want, and aren’t afraid to take the next step, you probably don’t need any signs to urge you forward. The first time I read the line, “Leap, and the net will appear” in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, I was, stunned, is probably the right word. Wow, people do that?! Cos up till then, I’d mostly been very afraid to leap. I still am, occasionally, but it’s easier now 😉

The times in my life when I most wanted some signs were probably when I was in a dilemma about something. Perhaps that’s why I feel that signs tend to show up at different stages of the decision-making process.

Fear of Taking the Leap

When you’re having trouble deciding because you actually know deep down what you want, but it’s scary to take the leap, especially if there’s no way you can convince yourself with logic, and it seems illogical… this is the time to look out for subtle signs in your everyday life.

My own Soul Portrait session resonated deeply with me, so I was interested in learning more about it, but when the Practitioners course opened up, I was hesitant about signing up. There’s no obvious practical use for it, and on top of that, it was a big financial commitment. As you can imagine, all my self-doubts promptly kicked in as well.

Deep down, I badly wanted to do it. So I told the Universe, “If it was meant to be, I’d receive a sign before registration closed.” At that time, I was still a full-time English instructor, and the next day, one of my favourite students resurfaced after 3 weeks of absence, wearing a new silver bracelet. I noticed the words “Life is a journey… ” engraved on it, and couldn’t contain my curiosity about it. It turned out that the full engraving was “Life is a journey toward the guiding light.” *goosebumps!*

>>> Get curious, pay attention.

 

Too Many Options

This is when you have a buffet of options, and you can’t decide because you want it all. (It’s kind of a nice problem to have, no?)

You get signs, but they don’t seem to support any particular option. Instead, they sometimes support ALL the options. These made me think, “Oh, the Universe is testing me.” Completely untrue! I even used to complain, “Dear Universe, you’re not helping!” It was *forever* before I learnt what was going on.

When you’re actively exploring options, and saying “I want to do this!”, “Oh and this!”, “And this too!”, and then taking action on every single option, you’re saying to the Universe that these are all the things you want. As a result, the signs/synchronicities for ALL of them appear, because the Universe is just delivering your order.

There are times when being in this mode is great – as long as you’re comfortable and happy juggling the different paths. Stay open to the different signs and synchronicities that come your way. Enjoy them!

However, when you feel overwhelmed by the options, and you actually *want* to choose a path, narrow things down temporarily. At this point, it’s not even about the signs anymore.

Give yourself the permission and energy to pursue each option for a period of time. It can be for a day, half a day, or one week, whatever suits the situation. Tell yourself (and the Universe) all the other options are “on hold”.

Observe and look within as you experiment with each temporary choice. You could find it’s not what you expected, or that you’re really dealing with a fear of leaping – the multiple options are just egoic smokescreen. You may discover the ONE thing you want more than anything else. OR you may realise that you’re actually happy not to decide at the moment, and it was some external “should” making you think you need to choose!

It can be hard to close the door on some things (it’s a struggle for me), but saying ‘no’, or even ‘not now’, can bring you clarity. Ultimately, it’s up to us to decide. There are multiple ways to get to our destinations – picking one way doesn’t mean that the other options are automatically cancelled out.

>>> Do the options you *love*
+ Look within and trust yourself.

 

I’m Committed!

These signs are the easy and fun ones. They show up and support your decision, in the form of synchronistic meetings, introductions, things falling into place. They make you go, “I knew it!” You feel the Universe giving you a high five and saying, “Hey, nice job, keep going!” They are usually pretty obvious, and you feel like you’re really in the flow and there’s wonderful momentum to it all.

That’s not to say everything is always smooth or goes perfectly, but you generally have a sense that you’re on Your Path and you chug along at your own pace in spite of any doubts and insecurities, and take the next step.

>>> Enjoy the high five!

Try this:

To learn about how signs work in your life, take a trip down memory lane. Think of times when:

1. Things were flowing smoothly – go back to the decision points (and before) that led to them. Recall especially those decisions that were 50/50. You feel, “I’m so glad I decided to ____ because if not, I wouldn’t have _____.”

2. On paper, something looked perfectly good and logical and made total sense, but somehow you chose not to go that way. Now, you think, “I’m so happy I didn’t ______ because look how that turned out!”

In those situations, were there any moments or incidents that tipped you over into pursuing those opportunities (or giving them up)? What was your state of mind? How were you feeling? Were there any particular symbols?

With this exercise, we’re looking out for any particular symbols and patterns that tend to show up in your life. Let these questions stew for a bit, and see if anything pops up. If not, it’s completely okay too. It’s never too late to start noticing. What came up for you? 🙂
 

P.S. You can find the rest of the Sign Series here: It’s a Sign! (Not), Wake-up Missives, and How to Ask For Signs.

It’s a Sign! (Not)

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It's a Sign!
It’s a Sign! Or is it?

A few years back, cycling kept coming up in my conversations with my students. I thought, “Aha! A sign to add something new to my life. Who knows where this could go.”

The thing is, I can(?) cycle… badly. The thought of cycling on the street with all those vehicles – scary! But in the name of being curious, and pushing boundaries, I decided to give it a shot and blew $100 on a bicycle. I put in some incremental milestones to motivate myself: if I cycled up to *here*, I’d treat myself to an ice-cream and so on. I cycled to the convenience store, around my area, to my friend’s place nearby, to anywhere around my neighbourhood… sometimes so randomly I got lost.

So where did this sign lead to? So far, nothing. Beyond learning that I didn’t like cycling in the day, on paths less than 80cm wide and going upslope, nothing new showed up.

Later, I realised cycling was going through a boom period (OHHH!~). It was simply that I hadn’t been paying attention. In the end, I happily gave the bicycle to my neighbour.

Such detours aren’t necessarily bad – they help you to hone your intuition for what’s a sign, and you learn more about how signs work for you. Besides, it’s always fun to have variety into our lives.

Is it a sign?

When you feel that something is a sign, check it against a couple of questions. It seems counterintuitive, but you’re striking a balance: Intuition + Discernment.

If you’re anything like the old me, you’d have a bad case of “I want to believe”. Your mind goes a little crazy bouncing back and forth between “It’s a sign because…” and “But it’s not, because…”.

So a simple check-in both intuitively and logically helps to ease the confusion and monkey mind.

To Try!

1. A Physical Check-in.

Take a minute to centre your thoughts and emotions. Ask, “What if it’s a sign?” Or flip the question: “What if it’s not a sign?”

How does this make you feel physically?

Lighter? Does your chest expand? Do your shoulders relax? Do you get tingling or pulsing sensations somewhere? Does your stomach flutter?

It’s different for everyone, but these help me know that I want to take the next obvious step. The better you know yourself and your body, the easier it will be to understand the physical sensations.

This doesn’t exactly help you define if an incident is a sign, but it helps you touch base internally, and find out what you really want. After all, why would you do anything that is not at least a teensy bit aligned to your desires?

2. Trending / In season. Media blitz. Obvious reasons.

If it’s winter, and people keep talking to you about going skiing and snowboarding, it’s probably not a sign for you to pick it up.

If Cirque du Soleil is in town and there are banners and advertisements everywhere, it’s not a sign for you to join the circus. Of course, if you feel inspired to take up circus arts, it’s certainly worth exploring!

If all your meetings got cancelled or postponed suddenly for no good reason, perhaps it’s a sign you need to take a break. Unless there’s a typhoon heading your way…

You get the idea.

Another way to think about this: if it’s happening to/for everyone, not just you, it’s not a sign.

3. Clarity. Signifiers.

Most signs, when we are alert enough to notice them, tend to be obvious (to you, not necessarily to others). We usually don’t need to over-analyse what they mean and if they are a sign.

Sometimes these signs are one of your unique signifiers. A signifier is the form of the sign (sound, image, event) and you’re usually the only one who understands their specific meaning in your life. For example, one of my signifiers is the moth. They show up in my life whenever I need some encouragement on my path.

The more you observe and get to know your unique signifiers, the easier it gets to notice them.

4. Context

I’ve noticed that signs typically appear in three different situations:

Not that signs don’t show up at other times, but these situations cover the bulk of it.

Bottomline, trust yourself, trust your intuition, and be discerning.

Do you notice signs in your life? What are your personal signifiers? I’m curious what they are for you!

p.s. btw, if you haven’t joined my mailing list yet, why not check it out?

p.p.s. Here’s the rest of the Sign Series: Signs & Decisions, Wake Up Missives and How to Ask For Signs.

Our Ultimate Purpose

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Yakushima is a beautiful island in the south of Japan, famous for the “Jomon-sugi”, an ancient Cedar tree from the Jomon period. It’s somewhere between 2,000 to 7,000 years old, and is what the Japanese call a “power spot”. Power spots are places where spiritual energy is supposed to be accumulated, so people visit them for rejuvenation, for blessings, to connect with divine energy, and so on.

The Jomon Cedar is a five-hour hike into the mountains, and some people camp overnight in the mountains, but many people do a day hike (10 hours in and out).

For experienced trekkers and the generally fit, 3 hours of up-up-up at that steepness probably isn’t a big deal, maybe a difficulty level of 6-7 out of 10.

Me, I was a complete newbie to trekking. My idea of going for a walk was taking a 5-minute stroll to the convenience store to check out their new desserts. My physical and mental make-up is a wonderful combination of unfit, scared terrified of heights, and best of all, clumsy. The clumsiness makes everything more scary. I think I’m putting my foot *there*, but in physical reality, anything could happen (blame the lazy eye.) Clearly, I’m on the extreme end of “unsporty” on the sportiness bell curve.

Going in, I was mostly excited, and a little scared. It was like being in an action movie. Except I was the stunt person. Yikes. Suspension bridges (sway sway sway, oh no the rope might break, RUN!), narrow bridges with no rails on either side (what if I fall over!), man-made stairs with steps 45 cm high on a steep incline (can.not..br.ea..th..e…*gulp* see ‘the bit that killed me’), slippery, moss-covered stones (oops, slipped, my shoe came off)… What did I sign up for?!

Here’s the route:

Route to Jomon Cedar
Getting to the Jomon Cedar

Unfortunately, that was not the most challenging part of the trek.

A couple of hours in, my negative mental chatter started up and wouldn’t stop. It took me by surprise when I started to get annoyed with the people I was with. “What’s the big rush?” “Why can’t they stop to appreciate the scenery a little more?” “Why do they expect me to be as fit as them?” “Why am I not allowed to be scared of heights? Or just be scared in general?”

At the same time, I felt bad for holding them back, because they were much fitter, had no fear of heights and it was just a more intense than usual workout for them. So there was also “Why can’t they just go ahead at their own pace?” “I suck, I can’t keep up.” “I’m so unfit, why was I so stupid to come on this trip?”

Yup, I’m ashamed to say, my oversensitive, selfish, immature self came out to play. But what the hell, when you’re on a mountain, you either go forward or backwards. You choose.

A couple more hours later, we finally got to the Jomon Cedar. Yay! There it was. Wow. 7,000 years of history, right before my eyes. (I’ll take the optimistic number.) I’m not sure I felt that surge of positive energy though. We broke for lunch, then started our trek back out.

Jomonsugi, Jomon Cedar
Take a look at history

That’s when the magic finally kicked in.

At some point, I managed to get out of my head, and started really engaging with the beauty around me. I thought, perhaps the power of the Jomon Cedar, lay in the journey, and not in the actual seeing of it.

And that journey is a perfect metaphor for how we choose to live.

There were hundreds of people on that path that day. Some going in, some going out. Some people said hi out of politeness, others out of friendliness. Some didn’t say hi. Maybe they were shy, or super focused, or didn’t care. Or maybe I didn’t hear them.

Some people were fully equipped with tools designed specifically for trekking. Others came with a mishmash of this and that. Still others came with the bare minimum. Some walked speedily, some strolled.

Walking Path to Jomon Sugi
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One path, in and out of the mountains, just as birth and death are the only certainties in our lives. The variety of people – uncountable.

Sometimes I walked with my friends. Sometimes I walked amongst strangers. Sometimes I walked by myself. Even so, there was an amazing sense of connectedness and camaderie amongst all the trekkers.

In life too, we also walk in the company of friends and strangers, towards the same destination. But even when we walk with others, it is our own legs that carry us to our destination.

How we choose to walk the path, is entirely up to us. What we carry in our minds and hearts… How we interact with the people and the environment around us… The decisions behind these determine the quality of our experience.

A Heart-shaped view
How do you see the world?

The difference we make in our individual journeys, lies in the choices we make, and the values that drive those choices.

I’d understood these points mentally for a long time, but the trek really hit the point home.

In whatever life area, business, love or spirituality, everyone has their preferred ways of being and doing. It’s not wrong, it’s just different. It also doesn’t mean that we can’t change or experiment.

It also doesn’t matter if we have one life or one thousand lives to live. Since the end point as we know it is the same, we might as well make the best of what we have, and consciously choose what kind of trail we leave behind.

In the end, there is only one purpose for everyone: to walk the path in your particular way.

 
I decided to live as consciously as I could moment to moment, to actively choose the quality of energy I brought to any situation, to make a small difference every day, in spite of knowing that there’s only one ultimate destination.

It’s easy to have clarity about this in the big picture issues, but applying this to everyday interactions is far more challenging. I fail, way more often than not, but this epiphany is never far in my mind. Thanks, Jomon Cedar 😉

What are you doing to own your purpose? Share in the comments!